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A bunch of dreams, and then some more dreams. Dreams within dreams. Is life itself a dream? Why are these all called Dreamscapes, anyway? Who are we and where do we come from?

Dreams i (16/26)

May 18, 1992

Choose a different dreamscape

I’m in bed, in CT, w/Jules, asleep. I wake up to find that I hadn’t just peed, as I had thought, but that I had only dreamed of peeing. So I get up to pee. I go downstairs. Outside it is very dim + gray: predawn. I plan to leave via front door but then I notice a thick eggplant tree w/heavy, ripe eggplant growing against (actually blocking) the door (outside).

So, I’m outside. I pee. I head back in (the egpant tree is conveniently gone) and there is mom, at her desk, writing (?)  She says she can’t sleep, that she hates it when she can’t sleep but that she’s going to go back, soon, do some heavy exercises to help her.

On the round table are two letters, to me, commemorating my birthday which happens to be today. One is from Sarah, one from Helen Fisher. I’m pleasantly surprised to get these… I hadn’t expected either of them to remember. I open Sarah’s which has a thick stack of photos. I thumb through them: myself during earlier traveling we did. I look younger, dorky, sway-backed, but more athletic. I have white high-tops, sweatshirt tied around my waist.

I’m outside, perhaps because I was nervous about Jules discovering my letters. I’m by the woodshed, facing the house. Sarah has appeared now, in person, and is walking toward me. I find myself judging her appearance, aware that this is my new girlfriend, and that my new girlfriend is objectively more attractive than my previous (in other words, I think this person is Jules, not Sarah) so as I look at this person I try to see her in that light. I’m not sure what I feel, but I certainly feel relief when, in my dream (or perhaps as I wake toward true reality) I realize my mistake and know that this person was Sarah, not Jules.

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