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A bunch of dreams, and then some more dreams. Dreams within dreams. Is life itself a dream? Why are these all called Dreamscapes, anyway? Who are we and where do we come from?

Dreams i (18/26)

July 7, 1992

Choose a different dreamscape

At this point I’d like to mention the twisted + perverted dream which kept me twitching next to Jules. One was simple, straighforward sex w/her in this very tent. Very realistic, very aroused, pushing her skirt above her hips, entering her. However, she averted her face at one point, indicating disinterest or pain, I was not sure which. [Jules in real life has been experiencing pain w/intercourse lately; pressure on her bladder, perhaps, from my extendo-schlong(?!); also knee pains when she swings, alternately, on top. So we’re both tentative]. The other dream involved a book that I was reading. A cheap-thrills chiller sort, w/good and evil and a robot controlled by both. He came for the woman who originally befriended him. He forcibly took her from the bar, punched her (boy)friend in the stomach, grabbed her red hair and forced her out the door, toward the schoolhouse where she taught (he, the robot, had helped to paint it) and she knew he was going to rape her. She wondered how long he would continue (as long as he was programmed to) – would this thought [coupled w/perhaps a love for the robot; knowing that it was not HIM, per se, but the evil programmer which were to blame] would this make her orgasm? So he would stop, then, as soon as she admitted her enjoyment? Because HE could not orgasm, of course, could only imitate the efforts and actions and expressions he had seen in the movies. Afterwards he lay as though satiated, lightly brushing his fingers across his own burnished metal skin. 

What a twisted, full-on sexist and sadistic dream, and a true embarrassment to have found it in my mind. Of course, it was in a book, in my dream, so I was an innocent reader, that’s all; it’s not like I wrote the damn thing! But I have to admit I found it erotic – certainly was willing to read the rest before I woke up.

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